BACK TO SCHOOL
by Sarryn
Summary: Lina messed up the Giga Slave, the universe ended in chaos...that chaos is the first day of school at a two girls' high school. Orientation really bites!
1. Default Chapter

Do not own Slayers so no challenge is intended to those who do own it and if anyone tries to sue I'll become a cult leader and infiltrate the government and set up communistic Smurfs in positions of power

Do not own Slayers so no challenge is intended to those who do own it and if anyone tries to sue I'll become a cult leader and infiltrate the government and set up communistic Smurfs in positions of power. Soon we'll all be singing the Smurf song and jumping off cliffs like lemmings. Anyway read and REVIEW.

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BACK TO SCHOOL

The Scene: Anonymous High School, could be anybody's, first day, rain.

The Characters: KK and M.

Conflict: First Day Orientation, even though they're juniors and have therefore been there for WAY too long to need any stupid orientation. 

KK: (making beautiful designs, according to her, one the back of a chair with an eraser) At least classes are shorter.

M: It's still school, shorter classes or no.

KK: Or no what?

M: It's a figure of speech.

KK: You shouldn't use those, you know how easily I get confused.

M: (staring at something) Hey, what's that?

KK: (staring at same something) A shadow?

M: (becoming alarmed) Shadows don't do THAT!

Shadow expands exponentially and engulfs one entire wall of the gym where the orientation is being held. No one seems to notice since a good portion of the student body is asleep.

M: It's the Reckoning! (Falling to her knees off the chair) I have wasted my life! If only I knew that today was the end!

KK: Fish stick, it's not the end of the world.

M: Oh, well then in that case…wanna touch it?

KK: (shrugs) Sure. 

Quietly the two girls leave their seats and walk over to the shadow wall. M touches it first and immediately her hand is sucked inside.

M: (screaming, no one else notices) Eeeewwwww! It's all squishy and damp!

KK: Hey! (M is slowly being pulled into the darkness) You can't skip school there are laws here young lady! 

KK grabs M's hand and drags her back from the wall. Suddenly the resisting force stops and they fall down, with many additional body parts.

M: o.O

KK: O.o

The many additional body parts belonged to several oddly dressed individuals. The two girls blinked repeatedly in utter bewilderment, then a spark of recognition flashed through them.

M: Hey aren't you guys from the Slayers Universe?

KK: o.O

M: Don't give me that look, I think they are. Hey where's Zelgadis? He's hot!

KK: O.O

A muffled sound came from the pile of bodies; of course the rest of the school was still completely oblivious to anything happening. Suddenly the mass gave a heave and everyone tumbled off revealing a very exasperated chimera.

M: Oh there he is!

Zelgadis: Where are we?

KK: Our high school? How'd you get here?

Xelloss: It's a secret. ^.~ 

Filia: No it isn't. Lina messed up the Giga Slave, the universe was pulled into chaos and we ended up here.

Lina: I didn't mess it up!

Amelia: Oh the injustice of it all!

Gourry: …I'm hungry.

M: If the universe had been plunged into chaos it would have been a good thing you know. The universe will cease to exist once perfect order is restored because life is a series of chaotic mishaps leading to a fundamental system of economic prosperity.

Rest: ?

M: Well the Goddess Kali's sole goal is to create perfect order in the universe in order to destroy it. Jeez don't you people read up on your deities?

KK: Heh, heh. Just ignore her everyone. Once in a while she goes off like that and all you can really do is smile and nod.

Rest: (smiles and nods)

M: So, I guess you guys are gonna be coming to school with us. Cool!

KK: Don't they have to have transcripts and stuff? I mean this is a private school. If it was public anyone could get in.

M: Well they ARE magic users, I'm sure one of them can magically create transcripts and what not. Hey who wants to stay at my house?

KK: You're parents will let you?

M: Probably not but that's okay. 

Lina: Love to stay but we have to go…

Filia: It seems that the black portal we came through has disappeared.

Amelia: Oh the injustice…(Lina clamps a hand over her mouth).

Gourry: …I smell food! (Runs off towards the cafeteria).

KK: Wait! You don't know what kind of poisonous sludge their serving! (Runs after Gourry)

Xelloss: Because it's a…(Lina let's go of Amelia to smack the priest over the head).

Amelia: Poison? They would feed helpless children poison? The INUSTICE must be stopped at once. (Races off after the other two)

M: We're not helpless…(Amelia has already left the gym). 

Zelgadis: Don't worry, she does that a lot.

M: (going all starry-eyed) So are you currently involved with anyone?

Zelgadis: O.O (runs away).

M: I don't care if you're taken! I'll win your heart some way! (Chases him out)

Lina: ?

Filia is sitting on one of the chairs drinking a cup of magically appearing tea. Xelloss has gone off to view the chaos in the cafeteria and laugh at the chimera and his love-struck groupie. 

Lina: If I had known THIS would happen I wouldn't have tried the Giga Slave at all.

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How was it? Strange? That's okay, I'm easily amused by things. Please review because that is so much easier than setting up a Freudian democracy.


	2. Nyarph

BACK TO SCHOOL

Scene: M's house, more rain.

Characters: M and male cast of Slayers with M's mom as a guest appearance.

Conflict: She has the entire male cast of Slayers in her house (duh).

M: Uh…don't do…that.

She stares at the microwave or at least what is left of it since Gourry decided to microwave a can of noodles. Metal and microwaves don't mix. Xelloss floats by holding a frilly pink dog sweater in pursuit of M's Yorkshire terrier.

Xelloss: Here, puppy, puppy. Try on this lovely sweater.

Zelgadis: They're people in this glass box.

Gourry: It's on fire again!

M: Don't step on the dog…I mean float on her. That's a TV, nobody's in there. Put it out!

Zelgadis: What kind of magic is this? They look human, but they must be very small.

Gourry looks around for water and sees the jug of olive oil. He douses the fire with that, except that the oil ignites and the fire gets bigger. M is about to sit on the floor and cry when her mother walks in. M's mom grabs Xelloss' collar as he passes by and nonchalantly throws him onto the couch. She then proceeds to put out the fire with a fire extinguisher.

M's mom: What have I told you about parties?

M: No drugs or garlic?

M's mom: No, no anime bishounen without supervision. It's one thing to fantasize about them, but is quite another to have them running about the house. It's so gyogiwarui.

M: I haven't taken Japanese in since second grade. What did you say?

M's mom: (shaking head in despair) You like anime but not the language. That is sad.

Before the girl can say anything Zelgadis and Gourry decide to liberate the small people in the TV while Xelloss starts to push random buttons on the phone. 

M's mom: If they destroy anything else it's coming out of your allowance.

The mother leaves and the girl wonders how she is going to keep the guys out of trouble. She looks left and notices an extra large roll of duct tape. A cruel smile curves her lips as she reaches for it.

M: (whispering) I'll keep them out of trouble, one way or another.

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Please review and yes nothing makes sense and I can't spell to save my life. Have fun!


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